It's been over a year since my last update, and it's been interesting to say the least. Prompted by a variety of situations, I found myself in a position where I needed to step back from the bleeder world and focus on myself.
I was facing my first semester back in brick and mortar school after finally working out a solid(ish) treatment plan. I was riddled with anxiety and fear that things would spiral out of control again, thus requiring me to medically withdraw. It had become the 'normal' for me where school was concerned, so I was cautious to place any expectations on my return. To everyone's surprise, my treatment plan held up and I was able to get through my first semester with it being relatively uneventful. It was great to be back with my friends and I found my groove. I also started touring colleges, something that blew my mind! There were times I doubted I would ever finish high school, let alone go on to college!
Second semester was a bit of a
different story. I ended up breaking my foot in January, with the full extent of the injury not being found until mid- April, which ultimately caused me massive amounts of pain and stress. My bleeding patterns also began to pick up around the same time, which, at times, put me totally out of commission. We also had some pretty significant things happen within our family. It was really tough to balance school and my bleeding/foot/personal issues, but thanks to the wonderful staff at my school and the abundance of support from my friends and family, I finished the first part of my senior year strong.
In the last year, I also got a peek at the not so great side of our community. I became alarmingly aware that sometimes, things aren't always as they seem. Unfortunately, I walked into the community as a relatively newly diagnosed individual who was looking for support and information and with that, I was blind to what can go on behind the scenes. I had heard stories but I was cautious to feed into it as that hadn't been my experience. As I slowly became more involved, it was obvious that politics and questionable motives were the driving forces in certain areas of the community. My experiences gave me a unique and somewhat tainted perspective of things, so I decided that I needed to take a break. I couldn't compromise my own moral standards to be involved in something bigger.
With all of that said, over the last year I remained close with a few individuals that I had made connections with. I never stopped advocating for myself or my friends. I also did a lot of reflecting on certain situations and I'm happy to say that I learned lessons that I couldn't have sitting behind a desk. So as they say, you live and you learn.
As Fall approaches, I'm starting to think about my life from here on out. I have 18 weeks of high school left, as my graduation date is set for mid-December. It's an incredibly overwhelming and humbling reminder of everything I've been through the last few years and it blows my mind to see myself where I am today. If you had told me a year ago that I would actually be here writing this right now, I can't say I would have believed it. I've learned that there's always a light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how well you can actually see it. I've learned that the fight can get you down, but picking yourself back up and continuing the battle is always worth it. I discovered that I, as an individual, am capable of more than I ever thought I was-- and that feeling is pretty cool.
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| First tour: University of Alabama. Roll Tide! |
Second semester was a bit of a
different story. I ended up breaking my foot in January, with the full extent of the injury not being found until mid- April, which ultimately caused me massive amounts of pain and stress. My bleeding patterns also began to pick up around the same time, which, at times, put me totally out of commission. We also had some pretty significant things happen within our family. It was really tough to balance school and my bleeding/foot/personal issues, but thanks to the wonderful staff at my school and the abundance of support from my friends and family, I finished the first part of my senior year strong. In the last year, I also got a peek at the not so great side of our community. I became alarmingly aware that sometimes, things aren't always as they seem. Unfortunately, I walked into the community as a relatively newly diagnosed individual who was looking for support and information and with that, I was blind to what can go on behind the scenes. I had heard stories but I was cautious to feed into it as that hadn't been my experience. As I slowly became more involved, it was obvious that politics and questionable motives were the driving forces in certain areas of the community. My experiences gave me a unique and somewhat tainted perspective of things, so I decided that I needed to take a break. I couldn't compromise my own moral standards to be involved in something bigger.
With all of that said, over the last year I remained close with a few individuals that I had made connections with. I never stopped advocating for myself or my friends. I also did a lot of reflecting on certain situations and I'm happy to say that I learned lessons that I couldn't have sitting behind a desk. So as they say, you live and you learn.
As Fall approaches, I'm starting to think about my life from here on out. I have 18 weeks of high school left, as my graduation date is set for mid-December. It's an incredibly overwhelming and humbling reminder of everything I've been through the last few years and it blows my mind to see myself where I am today. If you had told me a year ago that I would actually be here writing this right now, I can't say I would have believed it. I've learned that there's always a light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how well you can actually see it. I've learned that the fight can get you down, but picking yourself back up and continuing the battle is always worth it. I discovered that I, as an individual, am capable of more than I ever thought I was-- and that feeling is pretty cool.
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