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New Normal.

"What is normal?" --The answer given to me every time I've expressed my desire to feel normal. I think as a teenager and just as a human being in general we all strive to be 'normal'. I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing but I do think it is a want that will leave most if not all of us frustrated and feeling empty. For me, wanting to be normal has mostly stemmed from dealing with my bleeding disorder. Every needle, every doctor, every horrible reaction to a med or a new med regimen.... I wanted to be normal.
This past weekend I was lucky enough to get the opportunity to attend a women's retreat for women and teens affected by bleeding disorders and had the pleasure of meeting some pretty spectacular ladies. The teens had the opportunity to participate in a workshop hosted by an incredible organization that pushed our leadership, social and personal skills as young women. I was the newbie in the group as this was my first real leap into the bleeding disorder community. I felt pretty nervous to share my experiences and how I have been affected by my disorder. I kept reminding myself that I had to keep an open mind and not put up the walls that I have so strongly built in the years since my diagnosis. The mentors leading our workshop set a positive and warm tone for the day so that helped greatly in making the setting comfortable.
Throughout the day we did many activities that all had a powerful purpose. Each activity gave us the opportunity to dig a little deeper and get a little more personal. Talking and hearing what everyone had to say left me feeling something that I had never felt before. I finally felt 'normal'. I no longer was the only person I knew who had dealt with the things I have dealt with. I no longer was the girl who didn't have anyone that understood my life. I felt like I had finally found a group where I fit in and wasn't an outsider.
This weekend opened my eyes and helped me truly realize that normal is whatever you make it out to be. I think we all know and have been told this one time or another but I know for me personally I never felt it. I'm not saying that it will happen overnight. I think it takes time and something big to make you feel it. So give it time. Be patient and be open. Because eventually you'll find that YOUR normal is the most empowering and amazing feeling in the world.



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